Japan 4 - Nick 0

On the board, finally after a god damn month here in Japan



I guess I should apologize for the lack of blogging to those that actually check this site.
I know most of you have nothing else to do at work, and love seeing my daily mishaps so don't worry I'll post more often.

My Daily Work Routine

I wake up around 7:00 am, eat one banana, drink some orange juice, put on a suit and tie, and walk to this train...



This picture makes it look way bigger then it actually is. In fact that is the whole train. I think it's about 4 cars? Ah, the best part is it's filled with my students who are going to the same place. "Good mowwnninng" over and over.


Once off the train I walk with a ton of students to the school.
You gotta appreciate the uniforms.

Get the hell out of my WAY! I'm going to be late for the meeting!

A shrine or temple on the way to school.

Oh man how fucking cool! A temple! I wish I was there man, I wish I was you!

Hold your horses man I know you wish were me getting naked with your teachers, but in honesty, there are shrines EVERYWHERE. I could toss a rock over my head and the chances of me hitting a shrine, temple, or someone smoking a cigarette or ridiculously high.

A: The vice principals

Once I get to work this is what it looks like. This is the office. It's fucking insane. This is probably the biggest difference from teaching in the states. Teachers don't have their own rooms here. They share an office like any other company/business. Once the bell rings they go to a room and teach, then back to the office. Which I guess sounds like a University. BUT, atleast you get your own office at a University (most the time). Here I'm sharing the same office as a ton of other teachers, including both vice principals..

Here's an advanced look at the office.
As you can clearly see I'm in the corner staring into a wall. The "C" represents my vice principals looming from a distance. And the "B" are the 3 public computers. I can't believe it. This is Japan and the whole office shares 3 public computers that are so fucking slow it drives me mad. I practically get caught checking my mail everyday because the damn computer doesn't react fast enough when I close windows.
Not only are there only 3 public computers, but there's no wireless either. If you want to bring your laptop if you have to log in through a LAN line and go through a bunch of horse shit. This is fucking Japan.
I thought they would just be passing out CD players, Playstations, and Computers like condoms in Africa.

Here's a picture of my desk:

A: Japanese names and words I hear constantly. Such as "Kyoto Sensei" - "Vice principal", "Ohayo Gazaimas" - "Good Morning", and "Shindoyie" "You seem tired"

B: A piece of cake given to me by my Vice principal, pretty nice huh?

C: A CD player that I listen to occasionally. I write down lyrics while listening to whatever and tell everyone that, "Yes I'm preparing lyric lessons for the kids" (wrong).

D: Yes that is the wall. I am in the back corner of the whole office staring at a god damn white wall. There is a picture of myself on the wall so everyone knows this is the Honkie's desk. And one of my Dad and sister, just because I miss Jiggaboo Gina.

Fuck man this post is boring, tell me something cool.

Alright, well here's a little taste of what I do inside the classroom...

The kids were learning how to introduce themselves in English. I gave them all cards with different names, locations, hobbies, and ages. They had to pretend to be that person etc. What the kids didn't know is that I made them all names of friends and family... so I got little Japanese kids going around saying ..

"Herrroo, My name is Lance Easton, what is yo naiiime?
I am tiiiirty fiffe years old... how old are you?
I am fwwwom China... Where are you fwwwom?
My hoooobby is cooking for my girlfriend, what is your hobby?

Priceless I tell you.



Then I usually have one class, and it normally goes pretty smooth. But today was not that day. I tried to make them get up and use the cards to introduce themselves, but everyone instead just passed the cards around writing down the answers. Slackers (I'll write a blog later about how schools are not what I thought they would be like in Japan).

So of course what do I do when a class doesn't go the way I wanted it too? I ditch.

Now the damn school is a closed campus

I have to find another way out...

!!


Through some shrubbery in the back I found this little gem. Sneak around the fountain, jump a ledge and I'm gone to the bakery.

Oh yes, nothing quite like a pastry in the morning after defeat. Everything is pretty tasty. Here's the dude that makes it. He was nice enough to smile for the picture in his 'Water' T shirt.

YES!

Back to reality at the office. I decide to go on the PC and check my mail.

A: What the fuck?
What the hell do those buttons do? I'm not entirely sure, but whenever my finger accidently slips and hits it, it takes ages for it to return to English.

Oh yes, the teacher I have a crush on sits right next to me and starts going through my camera with me...

God damn your skin looks so soft, those lips are just screaming for me, please come back to my house and jump on the futon with me...

"Giunta San.. uhh.. ohhh.. uhh.. Nani? (what's this)"


GOD DAMNIT!!

I wanted to tell her:

"It's not what it looks like baby I swear. I had to take a picture of this toilet because there's shit crumbs in it. The only person I know that leaves this many shit crumbs after he goes to bathroom is Aragon!! The King of crumbs! I took the picture to show him.. "

All was ruined.

But since we're on the subject of toilets!...

I have to admit, I am quite juvenile when it comes to setting the juice loose in the public spaces. I just can't help it. Whenever someone is dropping the juicy duecey in a stall, and I can hear it? I lose it every time. (Ask Toby about our trip to Phoenix).

So here's the thing, look at the door to the bathroom at work:

....

WTF

There's no bottom to the door. You can see people walking by as you're hitting the urinal. It's fucked up! There's hardly any privacy. What if someone real short walks by and see's the show?

Now to the toilet, which I know I've exhausted but I still can't get enough of..



Okay, Okay.

I lose my cool in the states whenever someone is actually sitting on the throne blasting away. But squatting? Can you imagine how hard it is NOT to laugh when someone is squatting, dropping bombs into one of those things? IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

Onto the lunch room:

A: Our great ventilation system.

Apparently the school's budget is too low to actually afford some air conditioning. So we do what any other school would do and this is to strap office desk fans to a ceiling. Couldn't we have gotten actual CEILING fans?

Here are the lunch ladies, I love them. They make my "KerrayRis" Curry and rice so good.

I love the lady that is trying to duck out of the picture.. haha YOU CAN'T ESCAPE!

The one great thing about the school is how clean it is..
It's not like in the US where every hall way is filled with trash, bathrooms tagged with graffiti and toilets sprinkled with shit (though I will admit, it did add to my adolescent experience).

The reason why Japanese schools are so damn clean is because the students are forced to clean it! Here's a picture of the students putting trash in bins with the janitor:


And finally the lone bus station..



Job well done Nicholas.
You've made it to Japan and you somehow make it through the daily grind that forces most Japanese through a window, or in the path of an oncoming train. I'm proud of you. And for this you earn your first point.