Monday, August 31, 2009

Summer Stories

"When do we get the blog "The Guinta Men in Japan?" Actually, I'm pretty happy that you haven't been updating, because it actually means you were out doing shit. I look forward to NOT hearing from you more often."

- Facebook message from Toby (And I don't mind that fact that he misspelled my last name AT ALL, even though it's on my god damn facebook profile.)

He's right, holy shit. After being chained to a desk forced to create English games for teenage Japanese that don't give a shit about me, it felt good to get out.

The last time I left you I mentioned that I climbed Fuji with a few friends of mine, lets move on.
The real fun began a few nights later when we discovered a Rock venue called Kazoo right across the street from the apartment. Couple of the dudes out front invited us to the shows that night, "Tonight... eto neh.... 1500 yen... drink drink, rock music."
Good English amigos, we'll see you tonight. And good thing we did!

The bands were all very polished, I was impressed. A lot of them sounded alike, but that's okay too. It was roots man. They all sounded like Rancid, NOFX, the Bled, CodeSeven (I wish), and so on.
The atmosphere was great (Toby is probably the only person who cares about this) but the way the crowd reacted to these local bands was fantastic. Fist pumping, moshing, crowd surfing, stage diving. No security guards. This shit would have never gone down in the states. The kids are too spoiled in America. We could learn from the Japanese about how to support these up and comers.

At one point between sets, on of the band members pulled me on stage and started to ask me questions, where am I from, where do I work? Do I enjoy this music.

But it got real good when they pulled my Kiwi friend Ben on stage.

Sorry I forgot to bring my camera to this.

HAHAAHAHA. "Do you want to fuck all these girls?"
"Just one please."
How classic, poor drunk Kiwi. NO girl would talk to him the rest of the night.

Made some great friends that night. Its great how music can stretch across the globe and bring people together like that. I'm really glad we found that club that night.


What happens when a Kiwi and a Scott get too much to drink?

Apparently they talk about the Lion King while falling asleep..

"Aww such a good film"

Me and the Kiwi had such a good time at the club we went back the following night to see what band was playing...

With a name like that, who the fuck could pass that up.

The band came out dressed in Kimonos, pink tights, and top hats.

Good act, good funky indie type of music that's mega popular right now. If I had to compare them to something I would say, Yeah Yeah Yeahs meets Deerhoof and drugs.

OH! And to top it off they had a chick drummer that could absolutely thrash.

You can check them out yourself!



Hey bro. Jets are an engineering masterpiece that deserve respect and your accolade. If it weren't for Boeing and other great jetliner manufacturers YOU wouldn't even be in Japan.

Wrong Jet asshole

I'm talking about Japanese English Teachers! My gripe with JETs is that they have their own little JET clique and they don't bother talking to other foreigners. They go to their JET events where white girls throw their vagina like confetti and walk around like their shit is real thick! (More on that later) My poor friend Shaheen up near Fuji has had some rough run ins, so I took the liberty to let them know what the fuck.

ME: Hey guys whats up?
Nerds: Oh hey... uh... hi?
ME: You guys aren't JETs are you?
Nerds: Ya how'd you know that?
ME: Well the JETs I've came across are complete douche bags
Nerds: Oh...
ME: Maybe you guys should start being a little cooler no? Well I'd love to sit here and chat but I have to go wait for my train.

Couple Nights Later

Me, Ben, and Shaheen are at a Gaijin bar kickin back before our night bus shows up.. and who walks through the door.. another gaijin..
He's walking awkwardly and has a weird look on his face, he's unsure of his surroundings but confident in his nerdo ability (JET).

Nerd: Hey Guys
ME: Hey man how's it going
Nerd: uh nothing...
ME: Oh man, you're a JET aren't you?
Nerd:'d you know that
ME: Intuition, well as long as there's only one of you
Nerd: All the new recruits are on their way, there should be like 22 of us here in a little bit

In they come...

Fuckn Hell

Nerd:Well look who it is, I can't forget that face.
ME: Well Well...
Nerd: What are you doing here?
ME: Look man, it's time to break the stereotype.
Nerd: What stereotype is that? That we're douche bags?
ME: Yep, Bean, I think it's time we leave.


... till the next summer story.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Japan 7 - Nick 5

Fuji - San

Dude, So this is going to be a bit scrambled and messy. Sorry, I'm writing this in a hurry.

I climbed Fuji last week and it was pretty wild. I couldn't tell you the exact height or anything like that, sorry I don't pay attention to such trivial bullshit. But what I can tell you, is that the fucking mountain charges you to take a shit.

How brutal is that?

Okay but this post isn't about poop believe it or not, i'll move on.

It took about 8 hours or so to climb it. We climbed till about 9 pm, then we went into a hut and rested until about 1 am.

Heres a picture of inside the hut.
The two honkies are my friends, and the asian dude in the back is not. In fact, you pay about 75 dollars to rest here, and you sleep shoulder to shoulder with other people. I slept next to some old Japanese lady who snored.

We got up around 1 am and started to hike again. Come around 2 am and people started to fall over and suck on oxygen tanks. My Kiwi buddy Ben (Bean) got a little altitude sickness and started to puke everywhere.

I couldn't get a picture of him puking so I thought this picture of him drinking water would do.

We arrived near the top of Fuji around 3 am. It was cold, we laid on the ground and snuggled.

What else did I find at the top of the legendary mountain?

Fucking vending machines.

Anyway, Yeah I conquered that mountain. Done it son. Here's a little victory pose for you.

Yeah that's dribble in my pants, so what!?


Anyway, I'm heading out for another week or so traveling so I won't be able to update this for a while. But once I get back there should be some long nice updates of shit you guys might actually like to read about other then my toilet, and bowel obstruction.

Love you guys

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Time Out (20 second)

Fuck you Fuji-San

Prepare to be mounted.