Japan 3 - Nick -1

I got naked today, with men.

I mean, sensei I like you. But I've only known you for 3 days.. I usually try to wait a month..

Last friday I was asked by one of my Japanese English teachers if I would like to participate in a hike. I thought it would be a great chance to impress the new teacher and meet a few people in the area, so of course I agreed to go hiking.

"Oh yes, Giunta san. Bring towel, we will be going to onsen"

What the fuck is an onsen?

It's basically a 'hot spring.' Or in simpler terms = A giant fucking bathtub in which members of the same sex get butt ass naked, shower, then bath with one another.

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9:00 am - We meet in front of KiiTanabe station. There were about 15 people, most of which are much older then myself. We sat around stretching for a bit then we took off..

10:00 am - Stopped at a temple and got an ear full of knowledge about some traveling monk.

11:00 am - Shown the local crops and farms that fuel the markets in the city.

12:00 am - Lunch .. which was bought at a convienent store before I left
-ham and cheese sandwich (gross)
-Chips (okay)
-Some funky piece of cake (delicious)

12:15 pm - One of our members starts to complain.. oh god I know what's coming.. It's one of those girls who brings way to much shit; two hours into the hike starts to complain and gets the youngest dude to carry her fucking load. So yes of course I have to carry her bag of 'god knows what. ' I should've looked inside but I can imagine what was in it...

-Razor for her chin hair
-Extra pair of briefs in case she shit her pants
-popcorn
-chips
-chocolate
- sandwich (most likely pork)
-an apple
- femininity (or maybe left at home)

Nick, stop being a fucking dick, how do you know she had that stuff in there?

BECAUSE I SAW HER EATING THE WHOLE TIME. Everyother minute when she wasn't talking to me about anime or her birthday she was offering me snacks she had in zip-lock bags.

Anyway, where was I?

12:45 pm - Temple, signifying the pilgrimage of Tanabe.

1:00 pm - I found that farmers in Japan use actual scarecrow techiniques..


Here's another shot


1:30 pm - Temple....

2:00 pm - Back starts to hurt from carrying girls shit.

2:30 pm - We all sit down to rest for a while.

2:45 - Fucking Temple.

3:00 - Finished. Does she say thanks? No. But seeing her ill and ready to colapse was just as good.

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"Now we go to onsen, it will relax us"

I must admit I was a tad bit nervous.

Why Nick? You scared you got a small dick?

Well YES and NO.. Allow me to explain..

I'm not one to refer to racial stereotypes but I think it's fairly common that most have heard the rumors that Asians have small penis'. (Yes Ryan, Yes Lance, sure lets through Ramil in there too, Kirks cool. I've seen it, it's huge)

Yeah man, you should be fine.

No this is where you're wrong. Everyone already knows that the Japanese have small dicks. So therefore the Japanese are thinking: "Here comes this brillant, strong, strapping young man into my country, he must be built like a horse."
Think of it as the BB (Boner Bar) is set so low, one could never dissapoint. That's genius. If everyone ALREADY THINKS you have a small penis then however big your manmeat really is, it's way bigger then prior notions.

Once naked and cleansed I jump into the outdoor onsen which overlooks the beach. This is beautiful. I am now enjoying the sunset with 8 perfectly naked older men.
What's the first thing these strangers tell me. They point to my chest hair with great interest. I am told I am the hairest man in Japan. Here's an image:

GRRRRrrrrrr

Dear Japan,

I'm writing to thank you for the wonderful afternoon we spent together. I have to admit I was a bit nervous about the whole ordeal. I mean we've only known each other for a couple of weeks, and you wanted me to get butt naked with a bunch of strangers? Please understand that's not how it works in the states. One would normally have to take me out, buy me a drink, slip me a roofie while I'm away in the bathroom then carry me home.
Thank you for being so upfront and gentle with me. When nervous you calmed me. When I was scared you slowed down. Thank you. I have never been able to completely be myself around anyone. This feels SO GOOD.