A: Hey Ramil.
Yes, in morning rush hour the trains are insane. Well in Tokyo they are. Down here in Wakayama they can't touch Tokyo with a ten foot pole. Here's a picture I tried to take one an average trip. This isn't rush hour.
It was hard to get a decent photo off. As you can clearly see someone was right up against me blocking my shot. It's strangely quiet in the trains. No one talks, and no one looks you in the eye. Its kind of like having sex with me. Pretty uncomfortable but gets the job done (sometimes).
Question #2
Q:How come all the culture shock you get is from toilets? - Ryan Easton
A: Well Ryan, ya see I'm not Asian which means a couple things...
I don't suck at basketball (except you JEFF!!! you're my boy!!1)
I have hair on my balls. (Sorry Jenny)
I don't squat when I take a shit.
Question #3
Q: How's your job? - Robyn Diego
A: Sucks
Question #4
Q: Have you gotten an RBJ (rough blow job)? - Amit Patel
A: Dear Amit,
I wish I could say yes to this. There's no bigger turn on then hearing a girl gasp for air while going down on you. You don't have to send me any pr0n. I know you got like 8 gigs of that shit on your computer. You can keep your RBJ's and GBH's to yourself.
On a more serious note, I went to an Indian restaurant and had some curry, and it was delicious!
The funny part was the waitress is a student of mine. She told me she hated English.So I asked her about the hicky on her neck, trying to embarrass her.
She told me it was a curling iron burn, and that she gets hickies on her chest, not her neck. Damn girl.
And the question everyone is asking me.
Q: HOW ARE THE GIRLS?
A: In a word, terrible.
Explanation: I hate to bitch, and make excuses for the lack of my gash slaying but this is my blog. I wish I could say that every time I show the size of my girth they run screaming, but sadly that's not the case.
Here's the confusing part...
The Japanese culture is so gracious and overly polite it makes everything else so damn confusing. Don't get me wrong, I love it, I think it's great. My cracker friends aren't nearly as nice as these Japanese strangers. The problem lies with the women. The women are overly nice to me as well.
So when women that I work with call me handsome (Austin) I just take it with a grain of salt. Because they say that shit because it's what they're supposed to say. And it doesn't mean a thing. God damnit I'm beginning to sound like I grew a vagina. Maybe I did... I think I'm menstruating. Maybe I'll give myself some pussy... mmm bloody vagina.
What I should do is go for a westerner.
Dude what the fuck!? You're in Japan! Don't do that shit! Find some super submissive Japanese girl to blow you while she's cooking breakfast!
K listen to me though...
The western girls are stuck right?! I mean, they're in Japan, a totally misogynistic country where the women have little to no rights. They're not going to go for Japanese men, and Japanese men are such pussies that they wouldn't go for a strong foreigner woman.
After a couple months of marinating, these girls have to start getting desperate right?
That's where I step in.
This hairy piece of ass is going to look GOLDEN compared to anything else this country has to offer. BAM!
Of course If anything happens I'll let you guys know. And I'll try to take pictures too of course.
Posts
I got some pick up lines for you to try. Let me know if they work.
ReplyDelete"If you think my back is hairy you should see my balls"
"If you take a squatting crap in my toliet and leave crumbs I will take pictures of it. Then I will post them on my blog for everyone to read about back home."
Thanks for the laughs.
"gash slaying" - buahahahha!!! Great phrase!
ReplyDeleteAlso: "The western girls are stuck right?! I mean, they're in Japan, a totally misogynistic country where the women have little to no rights. They're not going to go for Japanese men, and Japanese men are such pussies that they wouldn't go for a strong foreigner woman."
Yes, it fucking sucks. Big time. They have no balls, no passion, no actual ability to come and speak to us. Honestly, it's ridiculous. Coupled with the fact that the majority of western guys are either a) butt ugly and freaking weird or b) only here to shag all the local girls, we are looking at a very long dry patch. And to make matters worse, girls drinking loads of beer is also frowned on. SUCCCKKKKS.
:(
Thanks for answering all of our questions about your adventures in Japan. On a sidenote, I borrowed a mic from Toby a few years ago for my graduation party and I was asking Toby to borrow it again. Toby told me that you had it somewhere at your house. I was wondering if you could ask you mom to leave it somewhere for me to pick it up. I would really appreciate it since my mom is riding my ass about this. Thanks and let me know.
ReplyDeleteGod damnit, this blog isn't a private email ryan!!
ReplyDeletebut since you asked, yeah I believe I left the mic gear at my Mom's. She she most likely has it stored somewhere in the garage. I brought one mic with me.. which is mine, i think... yours should be there.
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