Japan 4 - Nick 0

Congratulations on Surviving 2 months!!

This entry is dedicated to all the crackers, and honkies I met during training in Tokyo.

What we were to expect of the Orient? Most of us didn't speak a lick of Japanese (most of us still don't) . We came from all over the globe, California, West Virginia, New Zealand, Cleveland##, Chicago, England. And ….Wales? With the common purpose of traveling.

This question was thrown around a lot during the two weeks of training: “So what brought you to Japan?”

The answers varied: “Oh ya know, just wanted to see a different country,”

“I am an FBI agent*”

“I love Japan, this is my # time here”

“I can't find a fucking job in this godforsaken economy, so I said 'fuck it.'”

“My girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with me, I was going no where in life, so I decided to go nowhere in a different country.”

“I'm just looking for a gurrrl to suck on mehh balls homie,” (That sounds like Hanah!)

Answers varied, but the reason was the same. It was time to get out of dodge.

We would sit through whole days of training. Training so boring it made me start to ponder ridiculous erroneous equations...

Who in training is desperate enough to make out with me?...

Who would win in a fight...a shark, or a tiger

I wonder what color her underwear is...

I wonder if anyone can see my boner...

Once the mind numbing training was over the fun began

This is a great picture of some of us packed in the back of a bus on the way to downtown Narita.

Of course we find a “British pub” to go to. But in our defense it was 10% on drinks or something.

And does anyone know what happened to this couple? He was the coolest Aussie I've met with a shirt on.

Once everyone got their placement, there was a small group of rejects left called, “The Alternates.” They put us all in one hallway. Wooaah* it doesn't get much better then this.

This was basically vacation with some of the coolest people in the program. We all lived right next door to each other. It was a party 24/7.

Go see some sights in Tokyo in the morning,

Get dinner in the evening.

At night the girls would drink wine out of paper cups till 2 in the morning.

Then I'd try to convince them that I'm great at oral sex.

Then sadly day by day each of us would be placed. The dreaded phone would ring with instructions for a new Alternate to leave. WE WERE DROPPING LIKE FLIES. Then one day, I got my instructions to head down to Tanabe. Bogus*.

We all work in our schools now. Getting “Kancho'ed” by some students. Getting hit on by others (or maybe that's the same thing..) Trying to teach a language no one is interested in, including the school staff. Weekend outings include getting naked with fellow teachers, watching school staff get drunk, or having diarrhea at a girls house at 3 am.

Culture shock has set in for some! Yelling at people in convenience stores, getting hit by a car while riding your bike, not wanting to leave your Leo Palace.

It's exhausting. Learning a new language, adjusting to a new job, meeting new friends. Everything takes a large amount of energy. Simple conversations have become a tiresome task of hand gestures, translation books and facial expressions. Meeting new friends can blow too. Especially if you don't speak any Japanese. This means you almost HAVE to become friends with the other English speakers, no matter how lame they can be. Process of elimination. Mi casa su casa.Vio con Dios*. Talk about desperation...

Anyway!

This is what we wanted.

To get the hell out of dodge.

The culture shock, the shitty job, the shitty white friends, getting naked with fellow teachers, and getting hit by a car are all moments that make this experience gold (liquid gold).

So congratulations everyone! WE SURVIVED TWO MONTHS IN JAPAN!!!

*Made popular by Keanu Reeves