Lost in Translation.
Most days I come into work and I look terrible. I thought that was normal. A lot of coworkers come up to me..
Too bad I can't squat and sleep huh?
“Oh.. Giunta Sensei, Shindoi?
“Uhh.. sure ya. Hai hai hai,”
What the hell did that mean? Whatever, I’m going to continue to stare at the wall for the next 30 minutes before class starts. Then another person comes up to me.
“Ohayo Gazaimaaaasssssssssss”
“ohio”
“Oh Giunta Sensei… Shindoi?”
“hai hai, shindoi, whatever.”
Man what the hell does that mean! I checked my zipper, my fly was up, checked my breath and armpits, both stink, but not terribly strong…
“Oh oh oh Giunta sensei, Shindoi means you look very tired, sleepy.”
Oh… well yeah I’m fucking tired, its 8:30 in the morning, give me a break.
Heres the thing though.. I kind of suspect Shindoi to mean a little more then what they tell me. The Japanese don’t tell all at once. They cant be trusted most of the time.. here's another example.
“Uhhh Giunta Sensei, me anda soma friends.. are uh thinking abouta going into Onsen this weekend, uhhh woojoo like to join?”
“naw man, I can’t..”
“Ohh uhh why notuh”
Because I’m tired of getting naked in front of Japanese dudes that’s why.
Aaaahhh you Faggot I knew you look!!
Shut the fuck up.
I’ve been in this country for about two months and Ive seen too much penis. My penis to vagina ratio is terribly unbalanced at this moment.
Penis - 16
Vagina - 0
Boob(s) - 1 (Some office lady bent over right in front me)
“actually its because I don’t have a lot of money right now.. Im waiting on pay day. Sorry”
“ohhh.. Bimbo des ka?”
“Ya sure.. Bimbo des..”
“Hahaha psahahwahh” “bwahaha bimbo deska ashdahhugehg 3$$$42$”#”$”
“What does that mean anyway?”
“Oh Giunta Sesnei, it means you are poor, no money.”
For some reason I think it means something else…
Few days later someone else outside of school asks if I wanted to hang out
“Cant, bimbo des”
“.. you have no home?”
What the fuck, “I thought that meant I have no money”
“Oh it means more like you are bum, no home, no money, no clothes, get a hold of your life Giunta Sesnei.”
Son of a bitch lied to me. I knew it meant something more then just being broke. I may be broke but Im not living on the streets yet. Cut me some slack Japanese. Jesus.
LIVE UPDATE:
The Karate teacher just sat down next to me. And asked me to try Karate. I'm down. I'm going to make an ass out of myself but I'm down. These 17 year old Jap-o's are going to seriously punch the shit out of me. I'm hoping with a little practice I can punch through a wooden board. Hm. Plus this may be a good way to earn respect from the kids. Or completely annihilate any respect I had prior. I either kick the shit out of a kid and they think I'm awesome, or I get the shit kicked out of me and they think I'm a total bitch (more so).
The deadliest art of the orient is now in the hands of an American.
That's so funny I didn't have to alter it.
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haha thats classic. Just feel fortunate that they dont completely ignore you. Face it, we all know that them making fun of you is a sign of reverence. Well, possibly.
ReplyDeleteYou should throw down some American fighting styles on them.
ReplyDeletethey have to know that you'll find out eventually...at least they aren't straight up talking aboutyou with the knowledge that you won't find out....cuz then they'd be ruthless!
ReplyDelete-kirkus
Dear Nick,
ReplyDeleteYour job does suck. Or at least thats what you want us to think.
Love,
Robyn
p.s.
When are you coming home? Amit is a horrible lover.
Robyn,
ReplyDeleteI want you to know that I am being trained by multiple Asian women. When I get back I will blow your mind... or just blow it..
I'm a horrible lover? You were the one who couldn't hang in vegas
ReplyDeletei love it...whatever happens in vegas, finds its way to a blog...go figure
ReplyDelete-kirkus
p.s. - i might've missed it, but how is the scoring system? it was Japan 5, you 1 before this blog. and then Japan went down one.
ReplyDelete