Japan 5 - Nick 2

Ask me a Question, in English, you smart ass…

I worked along side of the teacher I (mentally) make out with today. Oh Iwasaki Sensei, you’re so hot..

As part of my introduction to a class I pass around small pieces of paper and ask the students to please write a question in English. No name is necessary, just a question, anything you want to ask: How old are you? Do you have a girlfriend? When was the last time you washed that shirt? Anything is okay, as long as it’s in English… I haven’t washed this shirt since I’ve been here.

I get a lot of the same questions. Here they are in rank of questions asked. (I’ll save the trouble of deciphering broken English, so I’ll do it for you)

5. How tall are you?

4. What sport do you like?

3. What Japanese food do you like?

2. Do you have a girlfriend?

1. How old are you?

Everyone here thinks I’m 35. I could be because I’m becoming increasingly out of shape, and don’t shave. Or maybe it’s because no one in this country looks a day older then 14.

Sadly the bell rang and I was not able to go through all of the questions, but I do find them really entertaining, so I brought them back to the office to go through them.

How old are you?

What food do you like Japanese?

What sport the best?

….

..

Then this gem..

…

!!! What the hell!?

Do I like the English teacher!? Is it that obvious that a 15 year old Japanese boy can see right through me!? AH God I’m transparent!

That smart ass..

Yes I like your English teacher, she’s fucking sexy. Do you see what she wears to school?

Hotsu Hotsu. I know you’re thinking it too man. I know it!

Got a few other good ones as well..

Do you play sex?

Hmm.. I'm not sure what you mean by this kid. Does "play sex," mean do I masturbate habitually in front of the computer watching hentai pornography sent to me by Michael Lu? Then the answer is yes. If your question is referencing if I "Have sex," then the answer is an emphatic no. I have found that the penis is somewhat like a car battery, you don't use for it a while and it just doesn't know how to start up anymore. Oh well, at least I can still pee out of it.

Then the worst question of all... . . .

Nicolas cage is your friend?...

To be continued...