I have some drugs if you want them..
WAH!?
It happened again.
I left the door open in an attempt to air out my apartment. But of course that didn't work, instead of releasing stale air, I let in a parade of mosquitoes. I had a hell of a time sleeping last night.
Every hour I woke up to an orchestra of humming in my ear. I turned on the light, grabbed a magazine and went to war for about 15 minutes every hour. Killed about 7 mosquitoes throughout the night. Some also got me, how do I know this? Because when I killed the sonofabitch I could see my fresh blood being smashed into the ceiling. Dicks. Beside killing the blood suckers I was also being haunted of dreams of my fish taco business (more on this later), heat, and Iwasaki Sensei. I fucking couldn't sleep!
Then it happened.
8:54
I didn't even bother looking twice. I picked up my phone and e-mailed one of my teachers. "Gooch, I'm running real late, I'm sorry."
Ate some cereal then rode my bike to the train station. The fucking trains here are so scarce that you miss one you won't receive another for at least one hour. I actually had to have my friend Jason drive me to school. Once I got to school, I was ready to face the music. I'm thinking they're going to fucking kill me. This piece of shit honkie has overslept twice in a month.
I'm greeted with a smile from a fellow teacher...
"Oh Nicholas Sensei, what happened?"
"Uhh, nothing. I just overslept."
"Oh, so so... Why?"
"Uh? I couldn't sleep the night before" (truth!)
"Why?"
"Uh....Mosqui..."
"Nervousness?"
"YEP! Anxiety, nervousness, maybe I'm homesick.."
"Oh, yes yes, I bet, please go talk with the Vice Principal."
Fack
"Good Morning Kyoto Sensei"
"Oh.. Nicholas.. Good Morning, you are late? Why?
"I couldn't sleep.."
"My goodness, yes you look tired." (May I remind all of you, I am reassured on a daily basis that I look tired and shitty in the morning)
"Yes I have trouble sleeping every so often" (truth!)
"Oh no.. why?"
"Nervous.."
"Oh you must be a little homesick"
"Yep" (Truth! - sort of)
"Please don't worry Nicholas, I won't tell your company you were late, it's okay. Our secret. I don't tell anyone."
"Oh my gosh, thank you very much! I will do my best and get some rest." (Lie)
Now I don't know if that was completely taking advantage of the situation or not, but it felt good.
I get back to my seat and start preparing lesson plans. Then I'm approached by 2 teachers and the Vice Principal.
"Uh, is this some sort of intervention?"
"Nicholas Sensei is tired.."
"Ohhhh so so so" (in unison)
"Ya.. don't worry about it, I'm going to start getting more rest. I'm really sorry about today."
"No no, don't worry about it. Everything is great, you just relax."
"Thanks...... guys?"
Go back to working on assignments. Then I get up to get my water.
"Hey Nicholas"
Holy shit! Jesus Christ...
"Kyoto Sensei.."
"I am thinking.."
"Yea?"
"Have you talked to a doctor?"
"No..."
"I have some drugs I can give you.."
-We take a several moments on me practicing the name of the medicine I can't even remember
"Uh. I think I am okay."
"Are you sure? I can help you.."
"I'm okay man, I really appreciate it though."
I go back to my desk, and after exhausting myself over one piece of shit worksheet I take out a book and begin to read. There's a hand on my shoulder..I turn around
"Kyoto Sensei, hello.."
"I think, that maybe you are tired."
"Yeah man, we've been over this"
"Ya know, I'm your boss."
"Yep I know.."
"If you have any requests.. you can ask me, ya know like anything. Any requests. Days off etc. We don't need your company.
"You are my boss, a very good boss, I love you."
"Good luck"
Man this day is working out better then I thought it would. I thought I was going to be royally fucked, but instead I'm being offered royalties! Drugs, requests, interventions. This is great.
At the end of the day I was tutoring one of Iwasaki Sensei's students for his College English Exam. And he said to me, "Shes rearry cute huh?"
"Woah kid, you're not telling me anything new, ya know the real reason why I couldn't sleep last night? It was because I was thinking about your teacher. All night I was fighting a massive hard on. Every time I rolled over in my sleep my dick would jam into the futon. I'd wake up in a bit of pain. Now today my bone throne is throbbing. Every throb is a reminder that yes, your teacher is rearry cute."
And btw, yes I gave this point to me, for once I think my charm did something positive.
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If this was America your conversation with the VP would have gone something like this:
ReplyDeleteVP: Nick, are you alright? You look really tired
NG: Sorry sir, I had trouble falling asleep last night. Lot's of mosquitos and it was just really hot and humid
VP: Are you on drugs?
NG: (baffled look) What? No I'm not on drugs! I don't even drink alcohol
VP: Son, I've been in this business for 20 years now, I think I know when someone is using marijuana.
NG: FML
That's why I'm in Japan son!
ReplyDeleteThese people love me
i love Amit's American analysis of the situation...i agree.
ReplyDelete-kirkus
Dude...this post was scary! I imagine Kyoto sensei to be in a cult or something and saying one thing but meaning another....like......"Don't worry about it Nick. Everything is ok. Just drink this rat poison! You wont feel those mosquiteoes ever again!" followed by a evil smile.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel about the trains-I get off of work on Sundays at ten and the bus comes at ten fifty
ReplyDelete