Oh penis, I'm sorry. I have forsaken you. I haven't forgotten. Please don't think I've abandoned. I've just been a tad bit busy I swear.
No you fucking retard, you should be GETTING busy, but instead you're too busy selling fish tacos, writing emails, blogs, and love letters to teachers that don't pay any attention to you. How would you like it, If I abandoned you? How would you like it if you woke up to take a piss, and instead of finding me there's just a slope of nothingness...
Hey hey ... I 'm sorry man. I've been trying, it's not easy out here in the country. There's more old people then young titties. And by tits, I mean like tit. So there's twice as many old people as a pair of breasts...
I get it! Okay, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm getting no action what so ever. None. You hardly even touch me.. what happened to the days when you used to sit on me till I fell asleep, then I'd jerk you off.
The stranger! Yes I remember the stranger, and they were good to me. But like I said I've been a bit busy. Sometimes I don't have enough time to go on SpankWire (thanks Jason) and find me a good Jennifer Haze video.
And for Christ's sake give me a God Damn hair cut! I look like a god damn Chia Pet down here. I'm suffocating!
I'M SORRY! I just haven't found any reason to go down there and trim the hedges. If there's no visitors why should I clean the kitchen.. Know what I mean?
Ya, I knaw what ya mean,
Naw MEan!?
word
WORD.
Love you
Love you
Posts
TMI, but I'm sure your male friends will get a hoot outta this post. Btw Amit and I are meeting up in vegas next weekend, jealous?
ReplyDeleteStill miss you...
Stop hitting on all my friends Robyn, that's not the way to get me back
ReplyDeletejust terrible
ReplyDeleteKeep pluggin man....where there's a will there's a Lay!
ReplyDeleteNick, I never lost you...<3
ReplyDeleteWhats wrong with you! Ha ha, good post bud, you never disapoint. I'm heading up to The gilroy garlic festival this weekend to meet the posey. Jaime, Sean, Steve, and Brett. Like old times minus the hangover.
ReplyDeleteJust face it...its Eunuch (unick) ((no balls man)) time.
ReplyDeleteWait maybe it’s been Eunuch time for awhile now and nobody called the spade a spade.
SPADE!!!
ReplyDelete