Japan 7 - Nick 7

To The Hospital

I won't say exactly what it was that forced me to go to the Doctor's office, just know that it's nothing serious. Ladies, don't worry it's nothing serious.

But here it goes:

I contacted my Doctor in the states and told him my situation and he told me it was time to go to see a Doctor in Japan.

God damn, remember how I've been saying my town is nothing but old people. The hospital was fucking PACKED! There were old people every where laying around, some were missing limbs, it was wild. I had to be the youngest person in there by 40 years.

My teacher came with me and helped translate with the Dr. Then it was the moment of truth. My teacher stepped out of the room and the Dr made me get on a table, get on my forearms and my knees and bend over... If you're having a hard time imagining this, here's a picture I drew.

This was one of the most embarrassing moments of my whole fucking life.

The first thing I did when bent over with my pants pulled down was apologize to every girlfriend I've ever had. This is the most uncomfortable position in the world. I couldn't fucking relax, I was so tense. I kept flexing my butt cheeks!

There are no ROOMS! The only thing between me and the waiting room was a fucking curtain. Nurses and patients were walking by and having a nice giggle. Absolutely no privacy.

Then the Dr asks my teacher to come and in and translate some. Holy God, now my teacher sees me bent over with my ass hanging upright in the air like some whore. It was awful, I couldn't make eye contact with anyone, I just put my face in my forearms and waited for the whole ordeal to be over with.

Once it was over, I've never felt so violated in my life. I didn't want to sit down. I stood the rest of the time.

The best part of the visit though.. was it was completely free. The Dr. never took my insurance or anything. Apparently he houses some exchange students from time to time, and he feels sympathy for foreigners in this country. So he gave me some antibiotics and some steroids for free. Fucking sweet. I'm juicin.

Like I said Ladies, don't worry about me. I'll be good. Just give me a week or so to get back on my feet. Oh lord, who the hell am I kidding? Ladies didn't want me before, why the hell would they want me now that I have some bandage hanging from my ass...



God how has this trip come to this.