Friday, March 12, 2010

VACATION


MY VAGINA IS GETTING BIGGER


Last week I took a small 5 day vacation and did a small amount of traveling.

** I fucking forgot my camera so you're going to have to settle for MSpaint.

I went to Kobe for the second time and saw Jackson Browne with Sheryl Crow, and let me tell you it was AWESOME. I'm so happy I saw Browne before I (or he) died. But something strange happened with Sheryl Crow came on... Beside from the obvious butchering of a Jackson Brown classic, Doctor In My eyes, something was happening to me...



My penis (now strictly for peeing) seem to dissipate within my pants and a blossoming (not beautiful*) vagina appeared.

Holy shit! I have a vagina! What do I do with it? -- How come all of a sudden I like all these Crow jams? This is so strange... Are you strong enough to be my man? Obviously not you dick fuck.

Then as soon as it came, it vanished with the end of the set. Goodbye Sheryl, take my God forsaken vagina with you.

---

Then I took a trip to the WWII ravaged island of Okinawa.

Okinawa was the last island battle in the Pacific, and it was wild.
I went to a few WW2 museums, a cemetery, underground tunnels and caves the Japos made for hiding, and a memorial for an all girl high school that devoted their time to aiding the sick. Most of the girls and teachers committed suicide rather then submitting to the Americans.

After the war the island was taken over by the USA till 1972, before that Japanese people needed a passport to go there!

You can tell the Islands were Americanized at one point. I ate an A&W Rootbeer place, and then my stomach hurt BAD afterwards. ( Legends you're going to make me shit all over myself -- more then usual that is...)

I went to the second largest aquarium in the world. And it was fucking AWESOME... except for one minor detail.

CHINESE



Well that's that. I'm heading to Kyoto for one more small trip.
2 weeks and counting.


* = I know a lot of women are going to be up in arms about me calling the vagina "Not beautiful." Sorry dudes. I'm just not a big fan of something that has piss, discharge, yeast infections, and blood oozing out of it. But some dudes might find that beautiful... especially when discharged all over their chest, but I don't.

- About the Chinese, I have nothing against the Chinese at all, other than some of the food makes me shit, but by this point I think my stomach has been so beaten and battered anything could make me drop a brick into the pool.
Vivian if you still read this, which you probably don't, I was just kidding, you're awesome, and you deserve Lance. >=(

2 comments: