Japan 7 - Nick 9

Hiroshima

Oh nothing like the sweet smell of VICTORY!
I really enjoyed Hiroshima, easily one of my favorite trips while in Japan. Such wild history, pretty city, and of course I was with the old man giving me history lessons on super powers/death/racism or whatever fuck.

Anyway.

The best is when my students ask me:

"Giunta what's your favorite Japan city."

"Oh that's easy child, I really like Hiroshima."

There's looks of confusion on everyone's face.

What the fuck?! Why the hell do you like that depressing reminder of a city? Oh I know why that yankee piece of shit likes it. It's because he likes remind himself that he won the war. Well woohoo, raw haw for you Mr. American piece of shit. Why don't you just go over to that McDonalds buy yourself a Big Mac, supersize it, then shove it up your hairy capitalistic asshole!? Do you like Hiroshima because it's a great reminder of the destruction your country has put on us, that is still effecting us to this day? Do you know how it feels to have family members and friends effected by a bomb that was so hot it melt there skin to floor? So why Giunta?! Why the hell do you like that city so much? You piece of trash! And by the way I hate your classes!

- Er, the food?

Japan 7 - Nick 8

Fail




this picture was taken back in Tokyo when I first came to Japan.
I was trying to think of all sorts of ideas for the blog, and one of them was .. " Japanese Equivalents."
Which was basically what my friends back home would look like if they were Japanese.

The picture shown is of some stranger at Ueno park during the Cherry Blossoms.

It was supposed to be Dax, Ryan and Lance's brother.

Fail because Dax is already Asian. But I remember seeing this guy and thinking, "Holy shit it's Dax! I should go talk to him." Then I remembered, "Oh fuck, I'm in Japan. That's not Dax, it's just some Japanese look-a-like."

I'm not saying all Asians look alike*

The guy wears a beanie like Dax does, and he's got a lady, that's Dax! Now only if he had an iPhone in one hand..

I was going to try to take lots of pictures of Japanese people and compare them to my friends and family, but it got so awkward trying to take pictures of strangers without them knowing it wasn't worth it. In fact I know of a Jap-Toby and Jap-Amit but I won't ever get their pictures up and running. Sorry.

* = Lie, they do.

American Sports 100 - Japanese Sports 0

This is a 'varsity' high school team... nuff said

American Sports 0 - Japanese Sports 1

Excuse the shitty quality of this photo, but it was taken with my phone.

Some of you may remember a highschool girls basketball team in Texas ran up the score against a mentally challenged team by 100 points. This, of course, gained some national attention to bad sportsmanship at the high school level.... Does this exist in Japan?

Nope.


I went to a highschool basketball tournament last Saturday to watch a few of my schools perform.
My school lost by one point from a last second shot from the opposing team, tough loss...

BUT THE REAL STORY IS THIS EFFING PICTURE!

This is the score of a girls game with 2 minutes left in the fourth quarter.

HOlY SHIT
I couldn't believe it!
Talk about running up the score!

One team was obviously dominate. They had a full squad with an adamant coach, and a killer point guard that was throwing no-look passes and tossing opposing pussies to the ground, SON!

Team Pathetic had roughly six players, and could hardly get the ball past mid court.

Team Sadist decided to keep their best players in till the very end of the game. And as you can see.. they won... decisively.

Good thing Japanese parents don't give a shit about their kids, or else there would've been outrage all over the gymnasium!


And for those that want to get technical: The games are 4 10 minute quarters, and traveling is allowed (not really but the reffing is a joke)

OH ya...

And for those that want to know how I spent my new year...

Chion-in Temple in Kyoto Bell Ringing New Year's Eve 2008 from Jason Collin on Vimeo.

Sorry I couldn't be in America pretending to enjoy watching you play beer pong.

Japan 7 - Nick 9

Wow

This picture is from my first week in Japan. Holy shit, almost an ENTIRE YEAR AGO.
This is from inside the hotel room I was staying in while, "Training."

Let me talk a moment about, "Training."

Those that already know me from training are rolling your eyes (eff you guys).

First of all, the shit was way to fucking long. 8 am to 6 pm of listening to mundane, recycled stories; having grown adults play children English games.

"What is this?"

(in unison) It's a LION!

"Alright everyone stand up!"

(in unison) *We stand*

"Now sit back down..."

(in unison) *We sit*

"Now kiss the person next to you with a lot of tongue."

(Nick wakes up)

The point is... the whole training thing was incredibly disorganized, and ineffective. 99% of what we learned in training was applicable to elementary and Jr High students.

How the fuck am I supposed to get a classroom of 44 18 year olds learning trades at a vocational school, to clap their hands and sing English songs. My students are too busy drawing Hentai and presenting them as gifts (That's a positive).

Okay back to the picture.
After a few days my roommate and I obviously needed to do some laundry.
The washing machines worked, but the dryers did not.
Which meant hanging out underwear on anything in that room.

YES those are my Pink Floyd boxers, and YES that is my Old Spice deodorant.
I'm just really happy you can't see the Snickers bar resembled shit stain on my underwear.

I realized this picture is pretty pathetic in more ways then one. At first I was going to give Japan a point, but ya know what, it's Japan's EFFin fault for not having reliable dryers. What the hell!? This is Japan! The electronic capital of the world, right?! That dryer should have my clothes dried, pressed, and folded in under 10 minutes.

WRONG.

But then again I've been wrong about a lot of things..


Sophia ...

NEW LOOK!

Ladies in Gentleman! Welcome to the new design of my blog! (Sorry for anyone who is blind and either has their friend reading this blog to them, or is listening to it on my new "Blog on Tape.")

There's not a whole lot new other then the color scheme and that fucking fancy-ass Poll at the top! Make sure to vote youngsters!

Vote or Die - P Diddy "Elected American Hero"

So this is how it's going to work, from no one, I'm going to be posting a lot more frequent (I know I say that a lot, but this time I fucking mean it!)
But the deal is, ONE PICTURE, ONE STORY.

I'm going to be choosing one my pictures by random and then posting a story about it.

LETS BEGIN:


What the fuck was Japan thinking?! They can't compete with American fast food. Authorities will tell you global warming is the cause of water levels rising, but the truth is Americans are so fat that we're actually sinking the continent into the ocean, its fact.

I bought this heart attack on a small trip. My town doesn't really have any fast food, other then the Micky D's (but that shit is a 30 minute bike ride, and I'm not going that far for a stomach ache). So anyway the name of the resturant is Lotteria. And the box contains, a burger, fries, FRIED CHICKEN, and a soda... which I got ginger ale..

Was it good?

In a word, no. It was the greasiest piece of shit I've stuck in my mouth the past 9 months. The fries were soggy and a tad bit cold, and the salt tasted like carpet findings. The burger was mediocre at best, so mediocre that I've completely forgotten how it tasted. Oh and the chicken, fucking Christ the chicken. The poor thing was so slimy and disgusting. It tasted as if someone had already eaten it, regurgitated it back into the fryer, then the Japo's fed it to me. Fuck ginger ale was a dumb choice.

I immediately felt sick to my stomach. I was walking around with a lead weight in my stomach. A lead weight that was going to find it's way to my rectum and fucking destroy it, then send it to my parent's letting them know that I ate vomit, and that's how I died.

The food was gross, made me want to puke, but it also made me... miss America.

America, my stomach is not ready for you, but my heart is.